As if somehow being in person sitting around a table, being at the mercy of the one person who dominates, is the only way to brainstorm.

I will say that yes, it is easier for someone new to a company to get acclimated in person... but nowhere I've worked in the past 15 years has had all staff working in one place. Developers remote. Partners remote. If management can't figure out how to acculturate and mentor their workers in a hybrid environment, it's due to their shortcomings as managers, not because of where workers are physically located. (Which I know you know!)